Rod Remick lived in a shithole trailer with his ladyfriend Kathy who had a gig at Harbor Security. She told him about a place, up in the hills on the other side of town where no one lived.

She had to go on “patrol” which meant to drive up there alone, go through the gates, walk the paths with a flashlight, report anything wrong like a broken window. The pay was crap and they made her pay for the uniform. And there were creepy sculptures out on the grounds, in the bushes.

“Anything I can steal?” asked Rod.

“Jesus Rodney you do try to fuck up everything I do, don’t you? No. The house is locked and alarmed. I don’t want to lose this job. The daughter is nice.”

“I’m not fucking anything up. I’m putting food on the table. Nobody’s up there, right?”

Fairly soon afterwards, Kathy drove to where they’d planned to meet. She used the magnetic card to open the gates and Rod drove through in his old pickup with the trailer banging behind. The gates closed behind them. It was cold and she was sweating.

Rod brought out the power tools he borrowed from the wrecking yard where he used to work. He kept dropping things which clanked. Kathy thought a neighbor would hear – but nothing.

“The lady who lived here died,” she said. “I know the daughter. She’s nice.”

“Good,” said Rod, a bit too quick. “Nobody will bother us.”

Kathy showed him the flying lady holding a baby, back in the bushes. At first Rod couldn’t see how the metal was bolted down, so Kathy held her flashlight on the spot. He wrapped a tow rope around the base and hooked it back on the bumper of his truck. It didn’t take much gas to drag the metal out of the soft earth. Sparks flew as he pulled it across the road.

The arm holding the baby broke off as the metal rolled.

“Yeehaw, that’s it!” roared Rod as he stepped out of cab, “We’re rich!”

EXTRA – Remembering Jean Vollum, the Oregonian
EXTRA – Frederic Littman – Mother and Child
EXTRA – Art theft at the Vollum property, the Oregonian
EXTRA – Guard for estate, boyfriend held in theft of two sculptures, the Oregonian
EXTRA – Experts: Not all art thefts can be linked to drugs, the Oregonian. Touche’!